Hi hi everybody! Did you miss me?
That's right, your favourite guest contributor, yours truly, the ever resourceful BOTO XING is back again!!
Sorry, it has been a busy week here at The Plastic Times, and that's why Boto haven't been writing. Now let me compensate by writing a super long article for you!
What a lovely revelation by Miss Dawn Wayang about Miss Yang's amazing photoshop skills.
Teehee! Miss Yang has always pretended (more to herself than to everyone else) that her boobs are real and that her beauty is unrivaled, but we now know it is nothing more than good photoshop!
Boto suggests that Miss Yang and Xiaxue should have a photoshop showdown to see who is better!
Anyway, who wants a fresh vat of the juiciest gossip?
So, as we all know, recently Miss Yang had her ever resourceful Melissalam pull some strings and got her on the cover of 8 Days.
Having done nothing to deserve being on said magazine except maybe, erm... sleeping around (don't shoot me, that's what the mag said!), Miss Yang is of course very proud of her achievement!
From Boto's inside sources with my 8 days reporter friend, it is said that Miss Yang was really awkward at the shoot (facing Fiona, whom she of course flamed on Cozycot) and was pushed to the edge of the bed - for of course nobody will buy the magazine with her on cover, scars and all.
Teehee! That's why Boto always says, don't fall victim to plastic addiction!
And then a few weeks later... Voila! Magazine comes out on the stands!
Everyone told Miss Yang that she looks really horrible on the cover, with her big joker mouth, super artificial nose, and small boobs (compared to Fiona's melons).
Here's her cover, in case you haven't seen it!
Poor Miss Yang! Her first non-men's-magazine shoot and she looks so terrible!
But, of course she cannot let go of the chance to show off on her blog! Hello, are you stupid or what?? 8 DAYS COVER LEH!
Such a dilemma, what to do?
PHOTOSHOP, OF COURSE!!!
This is the picture that's on her blog:
She looks lovely, doesn't she, with her rosebud lips and doe eyes??
Spot the difference yet?
Here, let Boto aid you in your noble quest!
Under the magic liquify brush, poor long-suffering Miss Yang gave herself more surgeries... IRONICALLY AT THE PLACES SHE ALREADY DID PLASTIC AT!!
Tsk tsk... What does Boto always say? Don't fall victim to plastic addiction!
So, what's changed?
- Her forehead is more kok now... Implant doesn't seem to do the job well enough.
- More cleavage please!
- Eyes shorter and rounder
- Nose pushed to look narrower and less stretched
- Hair at side of face pushed away to make face appear less long.
- For some reason her upper arm also irritated her enough to put some hair on it.
What do you say? You don't believe Boto? Boto never lies, ok!
Here's a slow-mo difference for dum dums.
I told you! Boto also put Fiona's "before and after" to show you that the difference is not because of a warped photo, ok!
Also also, Boto read her Miss Yang's interview on 8 Days. 8 Days asked Miss Yang what is on her bedside table leh...
In the same way that Miss Yang replied that she only plagiarized 2-3 entries, Miss Yang stated that...
Kua kua... No condoms and toys, sure or not!!
But Miss Yang don't need toys lah, it is true... Miss Yang has plenty of the real thing, teehee!!
Anyway, being the good investigative journalist Boto is, Boto too sucked someone's cock and flew business class all the way to NYC to go into Miss Yang's bedroom to see what's really in her bedside table!!
And of course Boto shares! Boto is kind and generous.
1) Scar gel
Please hor, Boto found about 20 tubes of this in Miss Yang's drawer. Some are squeezed dry. Boto reckons it is because Miss Yang needs to rub this on the base of her nose, on the top of her head, on her eyelids, etc. Lucky chin implant's scar is inside the mouth, if not surely increase to 30 tubes.
2) Chanel foundation in "Shade No. 1 Whitest white - really... the whitest you can get"
As you know, Miss Yang slathers this on every other minute. Teehee, I tell you, Boto's friends who are Miss Yang's ex-boyfriends all said right, that Miss Yang every night before she sleeps, does not take off her make up!Instead, she slaps on more instead!
It is true! Boto heard this from about 3 different sources!
And then right, the ex-bfs tell Boto... Miss Yang, when she wakes up, immediately puts on even more of this powder!
Boto thinks this is extremely disgusting. This also explains why the white pillow got one face-print in beige. The bed also looks like it has a strange arm-shaped print.
3) Pregnancy test kits
Boto thinks this is sad.
4) Photo frame of Arissa
Boto also found a strange note behind it that reads: "Chant to self every night and it will come true. I look like her... I look like her... I look like her... I look like her..."
This goes on for 579 pages.
Boto finds this extremely creepy.
5) Sunblock in SPF 1000
Being fair is of utmost importance to Miss Yang... Even when sleeping can get UV rays, so must put!
Boto had a peek into the content. It is all photos of Miss Yang wearing cheap bras and posing on the bed. A lot had the bra strap falling down.
7) Armpit whitening cream
For dirty armpits. This brand clearly does not work.
8) Private Diary
Boto did not feel it was right to read people's diaries (though it is ok to break and enter), so Boto only read a few entries. Most of them are like this:
I feel that I have a double chin. Should I, or should I not do another surgery? Fiona sucks. I am more beautiful... so unfair she is more famous! Arissa sucks. Oh gosh I gtg diary, my pussy itches. Why is there a cauliflower-like growth there after I came back from my second Bali trip????"
Boto found no traces of the bible or the bread. Boto also saw a few clumps of hair extensions on the pillow. Can you say ew?!
Well, that's all from Boto today. Boto will try to update more here, ok!! Stay Plastic!
-your's plastically, Boto Xing
p/s: It is also said that poor Nathaniel Ho got gonorrhoea just by laying next to Miss Yang, but this piece of information is not verified.